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pheonix. x3

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February 1st, 2005 ]
i've been thinking about and i HATE it when people tell me im pretty. its like dude, i know im not. i'm over it. and i decided i also HATE it when people argue with me about it. all my life i've been told how ugly i am and its juss mad gay when people try and tell me i'm not cause i dont care any more. i am who i am and i cant change that [even though i've tried] so please dont tell me i'm pretty cause it juss pisses me off. mmkay? [no eric its my word lol]. and last but not least, i HATE it when people tell me i'm perfect or my life is perfect. because im not and i never will be- im not pretty or smart or popular or good at anything. i have scars and brusies and cuts. i've been in love and i've been broken. i've gotten t0o deep into things and i'm still looking for my self in them. i'm probably one of the most screwed up mistake you'll ever meet. whats in this Lj* isn't even half of the things i go through. there's so much stuff i CANT write about - even in my diary- just because no one can ever find it. i have all off these secrets that i hate, but have to keep, because if people know, then i wont be looked at the same way ever again by anyone. i have this whole secret life that i just cant break out of, but you know what I’m okay with it. i’ve gotten over it.

Love You.<33

**ps. dalLas-whats my other name? lol I forgot it!!

January 28th, 2005 ]
Which Two Boys will you have a threesome with
by GlamRockKen
Your Name
First PartnerAshton Kutcher
Second PartnerJosh Harrnett
Where AtOn David Lettermans's Desk
What Happens AfterYou get married to them both
Quiz created with MemeGen!

mood|s0O happy<3 [Tuesday
January 25th, 2005 ]
i x3 kyle so much- - i'm so happy with him. i juss make things up in my haed i guess lol

January 21st, 2005 ]
[ mood | depressed ]

kyle- i love you so much- but the look in your eyes has faded and the sound in your voice in no longer there. baby i wanna be with you forever- i never wanna lose you. but babe your killing me inside and i dont wanna fall apart again- not this time. please call soon cuz we gotta fix things</33 you hurt me so bad over and over and ovedr again and you dont even realize it. i dont wanna break up but you cant do this to me anymore. tomorrow is our 1 month- i wanna make it longer than that- but i need you to help us do that. you cant avoid me nd you cant not pick up the freaking phone when i kall- if were over tell me. i`m tried of this. just think about you makes me cry. i dont smile anymore- i dont smile liek i used to. i changed so much for you. and to be with you it was worth it but if your gunna break me- then i dunno. i dont think straight my head ALWAYS hurts. it NOT supposed to be liek this. we used to be that kind of couple that everyone is jealous of- we always used to smile. laugh. but our jokes arent funny any more. and our smiles dissapperad. i love you.. </3 Love You. Jilly</3 iLY MEG* you made me feel so much better- c u p p y x3: heyy CRiSCi x3: hii c u p p y x3: whats up CRiSCi x3: i stayed home sick again !! whoo ! c u p p y x3: awww c u p p y x3: lol CRiSCi x3: ya i knoe CRiSCi x3: so howz things with kyle c u p p y x3: worse. CRiSCi x3: awww wuhy happened CRiSCi x3: **wuht c u p p y x3: liek to day he was avoiding me cus i finally saw him + zakky was right next to him, kyle saw me nd walked away nd then zakky called me over nd gave me a huge hug nd he hasnt been calling nd we've been fighiting when we have been on the phon nd i like him so much but i dont wanna be like i was with andy so .. i dunno him nd i NEED to talk but i called nd his lil sis was like h/o nd then his bro was liek tell her hes not here. CRiSCi x3: omq that`s rele mean to walk away from you c u p p y x3: i knoe he liek pretended not to see me but i dunno- i <3 him so much. CRiSCi x3: yea c u p p y x3: nd i dunno what to do- tomoros our 1month- and were liek fallin apart- unless itz only me but i dunt think it is CRiSCi x3: well like call him tomorrow and be like okay whats up c u p p y x3: i'm afriad we're gunna talk nd he's gunna be liek i wanna break up c u p p y x3: or why sont we break up CRiSCi x3: aww c u p p y x3: and i dunt wanna- i wanna fixx it CRiSCi x3: yea c u p p y x3: what am i gunna do..grr. CRiSCi x3: hmm c u p p y x3: nd its not like i can even get in touch with him. c u p p y x3: ive never liek a b/f like i like him CRiSCi x3: yea c u p p y x3: i`m sending you mail CRiSCi x3: kayy c u p p y x3: kay sentt CRiSCi x3: kay lemme check c u p p y x3: kayy CRiSCi x3: hmm CRiSCi x3: i wonder what that means c u p p y x3: hes emotionless- thats my joke with brea CRiSCi x3: lol CRiSCi x3: whenever i see him during lunch he always has rhe same look on his face CRiSCi x3: **the c u p p y x3: exactly c u p p y x3: he hurts me so bad CRiSCi x3: awww c u p p y x3: i`m gunna go nd wait for his call.. if he calls.. c u p p y x3: so bye muah xo ily CRiSCi x3: kayy i hope he does ily byee


mood| depressed [Thursday
January 20th, 2005 ]
i love kyle so much- but i think we`re falling apart.it`ll be our *one month* anniversary on the 22nd<3. i hope we can fix this so bad. hes my stick+i`m his flower...

Love You.
JilLy</3 *i`ve got to talk to him..soon..

January 20th, 2005 ]

take the "what's your dark secret?" quiz
| courtesy of mewing.net. where darkness and secrecy abound.

January 20th, 2005 ]

I am the Star

Daily life is harsh, and most of us constantly seek escape from it in fantasies and dreams. Stars feed on this weakness; standing out from others through a distincitve and appealing type, they make us want to watch them. At the same time, they are vague and ethereal, keeping their distance, and letting us imagine more than is there. Their dreamlike quality works on our unconscious. Learn to become an object of fascination by projecting the glittering but elusive presence of the star.

Symbol: The Idol. A piece of stone carved into the shape of a god, perhaps glittering with gold and jewels. The eyes of the worshippers fill the stone with life, imagining it to have real powers. Its shape allows them to see what they want to see - a god - but it actually just a piece of stone. The god lives in their imaginations.

What Type of Seducer are You?
created by polite_society

January 20th, 2005 ]
You're a Civil War era corset. You southern belle,

What corset are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

mood|depressed </3 [Thursday
January 20th, 2005 ]

take the death quiz.

and go to mewing.net. laura = great.


mood|sad </33 [Tuesday
January 18th, 2005 ]
everyone has there secrets. some are good-some are bad and some people have more than others. some people have a lot of bad secrets. but they're secrets for a reason. let them stay that way becuase sometimes when that person is telling you there secrets, they're giving you there whole past to hold onto and it you let it slip- you might be let slip along with it and if they wont tell you it might not even be that they dont want to tell their secret. the secret may be so bad that they wish they themselves didnt know it. maybe they dont want to give you the nightmares that they used to have. sometimes it takes those people with many bad secrets a longer time to open up- they might just be madd scared that there whole world will come crashing down around them.but dont doubt them and dont give up-never give up on them.

Love You.

i love you so much kyle babe!!

January 17th, 2005 ]
You scored as An AberHollisterAE Gay or Fratmo. Congratulations!! You are a cookie cutter homo. You might look good, but you also look like everyone else that shops in that store. Still very cute, not very original.


An AberHollisterAE Gay or Fratmo


A Jock


A MetroHomoSexual


Normal, Boring and Gay


A Closet Case


What Kind of Gay Man Are You?
created with QuizFarm.com


Love You.

January 17th, 2005 ]
You scored as Prep/Jock/Cheerleader.






Ghetto gangsta


Drama nerd










What's Your High School Stereotype?
created with QuizFarm.com

lmao- i <3 the score
Love You.

January 14th, 2005 ]
BlazInChOp4DamAz: heyy
BlazInChOp4DamAz: yoo did u gwet sdome yett??
c u p p y x3: what ?
BlazInChOp4DamAz: justine
c u p p y x3: im not justine.
BlazInChOp4DamAz: ya i now it cubby
c u p p y x3: oo lol..
BlazInChOp4DamAz: did u get anhting form just yet
c u p p y x3: oo yes. a yummy dinner.
BlazInChOp4DamAz: ahahah
BlazInChOp4DamAz: seriuous
c u p p y x3: yea. chicken nuggets.
BlazInChOp4DamAz: lol
BlazInChOp4DamAz: tits??
BlazInChOp4DamAz: kisses
c u p p y x3: no chicken.
BlazInChOp4DamAz: lol
BlazInChOp4DamAz: when u going kiss her and shyt?
c u p p y x3: i ate chicken.
BlazInChOp4DamAz: do l;ike i ddid last year

c u p p y x3: like how.
BlazInChOp4DamAz: what u mean like how
BlazInChOp4DamAz: kiss her and touch her tits and ass and shyt
c u p p y x3: chicken?
BlazInChOp4DamAz: puissy not chicken
BlazInChOp4DamAz: lol
BlazInChOp4DamAz: what uop with u and chicken
c u p p y x3: i like chicken. dont you?
BlazInChOp4DamAz: yup
BlazInChOp4DamAz: lol
c u p p y x3: i liek beef.
BlazInChOp4DamAz: lol
BlazInChOp4DamAz: shut yupp
c u p p y x3: lol.
BlazInChOp4DamAz: im serious do something
BlazInChOp4DamAz: or i am
BlazInChOp4DamAz: lol
c u p p y x3: like chicken?
BlazInChOp4DamAz: ya like chicken
BlazInChOp4DamAz: danm fuckk
BlazInChOp4DamAz: lol
c u p p y x3: i ate i chiken once. then i threw it up.
BlazInChOp4DamAz: lol oo
BlazInChOp4DamAz: so dont eat it
c u p p y x3: what do you want me to do to chiken ?
BlazInChOp4DamAz: fuck ittt
BlazInChOp4DamAz: lolol
c u p p y x3: i cannot.
BlazInChOp4DamAz: fuck justin feal on her
BlazInChOp4DamAz: y nott
BlazInChOp4DamAz: kiss herrr

c u p p y x3: chickens have rabbies.
BlazInChOp4DamAz: stiop being dummmm

c u p p y x3: they do though.
BlazInChOp4DamAz: r u seruois cuby
BlazInChOp4DamAz: who careess
c u p p y x3: hey alex..this isnt cubby.
BlazInChOp4DamAz: who this
c u p p y x3: jill lmao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
BlazInChOp4DamAz: jill who?
c u p p y x3: nvm
c u p p y x3: i`m showing justine the convo
BlazInChOp4DamAz: lol
BlazInChOp4DamAz: jill who????????????????????????????
c u p p y x3: g2g nice talking to y0u. bye xo

wow!!!!! lmao meg*

Love y0u.

January 14th, 2005 ]

Toxic by Britney Spears

"It's getting late
To give you up
I took a sip
From my devil cup
It's taking over me "

Ah, what's a year without breaking a few hearts? Literally.


mood|none <3 [Friday
January 14th, 2005 ]
You are Kristen!

Which Laguna Beach Cast Member are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

mood|aiight [Friday
January 7th, 2005 ]

P is for Playful
H is for Hardworking
O is for Odd
E is for Explosive
N is for Normal
I is for Impressive
X is for X-Rated


mood|okay<3 [Thursday
January 6th, 2005 ]
aahh..i <3 him* lol..cant wait to sEe him!!

Love you.

mood|s0O happy<3 [Sunday
January 2nd, 2005 ]
*Up-DaTe-> yay! me nd kyle have been going out since 12.22.o4.. i love him so much..omg.

*nEw yEaRs EvE-> during the day me brEa *kyle* carl bobby nd fifi went to see DaRkNeSs at the moives..it was a horrible movie lol..but i was scared s0O kyle held my hand. i love him..he`s my stick with no emotion nd big ears<33 lol.

Love You.

January 1st, 2005 ]
i think i`m fallinq in luhv for real..for shure..</3..i dunno if itz qood or bad

mood|cunfussed [Sunday
December 26th, 2004 ]
i dunno wuht to do anymore..i want him s0o bad..but he`z happy with her..i think..nd i do anythinq for him.. i swear i wood..i`d die for him to luhv me for one daYy..</3jilLy

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